My friend Lindsey always refers to our angry or mean times toward our children as yucky mommy. I think it is a great name. You don't want to call yourself mean mommy or mad mommy or anything truly negative like that. I think yucky fits perfectly. Well I have once again been yucky mommy. I hate when I do it. It always makes me feel horrible about myself. Can I really not control myself when I go and find that the kids have taken everything out of the cupboards over the computer? I know they aren't supposed to get in there and they know they aren't supposed to get in there, but they also know some of their toys are in there and mommy was in the bathroom. Did I have to get mad though? It only took a few minutes to put everything back. No harm done. I hate that I can't always control my responses to them. I could use the excuse of hormones right now but that isn't a fair excuse to me. It's more like a cop out. I feel even worse about the way I have reacted when I see them sleeping. Like perfect little angels. I stand there watching them sleep and think how was I able to get mad at that sweet little face.
This last Summer a really good friend of mine lost her 14 year old daughter in a drowning accident in Utah. I was haunted by the idea of losing one of my children. I couldn't think about anything else for weeks. It made me feel horrible when I had to discipline because I couldn't stop thinking, "At least I have them here". I haven't really done any resolutions for this year. I normally don't. But I think this year I want to really try to remember what a huge blessing my children are. There are too many people in this world that can't have children or too many people that lose their children. I have been truly blessed to have these little miracles. The least I can do is show a little more appreciation and a little more patience. I think it's time to say good bye to yucky mommy. She'll still be around for the big things, but she doesn't have to be around for everything. Wish me luck!
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9 comments:
I like that..."yucky" mommy. I hate those moments of weakness! Good luck to us all when our kids do those things to set us off...
that is a great resolution to have. Good luck! I hope I can do the same!
First of all, GREAT pic! You are a beautiful family.
Thank you for your insightful post.
I, too, have experienced such debilitating fears. There have been times when it's nearly consumed my every thought. I remember one Mother's day when I happened to be pregnant and stewing over this very possabililty. I had been praying for comfort for a while and was still struggling with the panic I felt.
Then, there was this moment. It was a moment when the fear left me and it was replaced by peace and I was reminded that what is important is TODAY/RIGHT NOW. I had to stop worrying about tomorrow's what-ifs.
Right now I get to do my best to be a good mom and establish an eternal family. There have been plenty of days since then when I have been yucky too and/or moments when the fear comes back. But I have to remind myself to live in the now because God wouldn't want me to dwell on something that would paralyze me.
Even with that truth, losing a child is a mother's worst nightmare. I truly hope your friend is doing alright. I just can't fathom what she must be going through. Please send her my love.
Amen sista! I need to rid myself of yuck mommy as well. We've seen a little too much of her these past few weeks.
At church two weeks ago I overheard someone say, "Heavenly Father makes them look so precious while they are asleep to remind us why we shouldn’t smother them with a pillow.” I thought OH MY GOSH that is a horrible thing to say. I think they meant: They look so precious while they are sleeping to remind us why we do this difficult ‘mommy/daddy’ job everyday! Luv Yucky mom #1 (jaye)
Ah yes, yucky mommy. I have definitely seen her many times in my house. But looking at Porter in all his sweetness I hate how I can let myself get so angry. Kids are such sweet spirits and we are so blessed to have them that we just need to enjoy each moment that we have with them, good or bad.
I don't like being yucky mommy either.
Anyway, just thought that I would say hi. I stumbled across your blog through a long thread of blogs! Anyway, if you do not know who this is, this is Elizabeth Morton, now Autry. Long time no talk!
That is so sad about your friend. It's so hard to wrap our brains around tragedies like that.
Hang in there, we are all yucky mommies at times - I'm pretty much a pro, but kids are resilient.
It is good to have these little reminders. Thanks.
I'm sorry...I hate those moments. I lose my temper too and then I always feel guilty after. It's good though to have bad days...then you can look back and evaluate what went wrong, and try to be better the next day. Hang in there...those hormones aren't fun!
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