Sad, confused, and extremely grateful

Facebook has been so fun for me. I love to connect with people I haven't seen in a long time. It's fun to see where they are in their life. I love to see pictures of their kids. It's fun to tell stories from school or the young single adults. It's great and I love it. The thing I don't love though...? The reality of where some of my friends have led their lives. It is so hard for me to understand how someone can be so faithful to their religion. Live the gospel and even serve a mission and then decide that they are homosexual. I know that seems like it came out of nowhere, but I have so many friends from growing up that are now homosexuals. Most of them served missions. They were examples to me in times of trials. I looked up to them and their testimonies. I feel let down. I do love Facebook. I just don't like the reminders I get about the lifestyle choices that have been made by so many of my old friends. They aren't all homosexuals. But plenty of them have left the church. I read their status updates about their night at the bars or clubs. The foul language they use. I see pictures of them holding their beers. It's sad. I feel bad for them and choices they have made. I worry for them. But then I feel so grateful that I still have the gospel in my life. I read these things and it encourages me to stay strong. To be the one setting the example now. When I was in YSA it always bothered me that people would instantly start talking about church or "good" things when I would come around them. I always thought, " I wanna talk about what you guys are talking about". But then it dawned on me. Why should I be bothered by the fact that they are protecting me? My Patriarchal blessing talks about how I will be an example to my peers. That they will be able to feel my closeness to the Savior. I changed my attitude. I started to feel happy that the gospel is what's brought to mind when I am around. Even when I chat with some of my old friends on Facebook the topic always ends churchy no matter how the conversation is started. I sometimes miss the YSA days. We had a lot of fun. We were young, silly, faithful, and straight. But I am so grateful that I still have the Gospel in my life. I am so grateful that I can have a turn being an example. I'm not saying that I am perfect. I'm not saying that I never say inappropriate things. But I am saying that I love the Savior. I am so grateful to have a testimony of Him. I am grateful that every Sunday I get to go to church. I am so grateful for my family and for all my friends. I love my husband and I know that he loves me. I am so grateful that he has a job that allows me to stay home with our beautiful children. I love my children and I'm so grateful that they are so forgiving. I'm still learning how to be a mom. I am also so grateful for the Atonement and repentance. For the opportunity I have to try again everyday. I hope that I can be a good example to my children and all those around me. Oh, and I am grateful for sunshine and smiling faces.

Paden, were you playing with the camera?

Nope. It wasn't me.

Really?

It wasn't me. Really.

Somehow I have a hard time believing that.

Better Late Than Never, Right?

So my little girl turned 6 on April 2nd. She is such a fabulous girl and I am so lucky to have her in life. She is always there when I have the urge to paint some nails. I love that I have my little girl to have girly shopping trips with. She is a big dreamer and always makes me laugh. Ellie is in kindergarten and impresses her teacher often. He always has some new thing to tell us that we can brag about. It has been so fun to see her personality blossom more and more. On her birthday we were able to bring some cookies for her class. She had a lot of fun showing off her brothers and being able to leave a few minutes early. Our kids pick what they want for dinner when it is their birthday. Our little girl can down a cheeseburger like no other and was very excited to come with me to pick up Happy Meals. We had a fun evening together and had a very difficult time getting her to settle down because she knew her party was the next day. She woke up early and asked every 10 minutes how much longer. The time finally arrived and the friends did too. Ellie is the ultimate Princess. Last year's party was a princess/pony theme and this year was princess as well. We has 9 girls show up and they had a fun time chasing balloons, playing musical chairs, and eating cake and ice cream sandwiches. Ellie was beyond excited when she got barbie after barbie. It was a great day. Then on Sunday my family got together to celebrate the April birthdays. It was a lot of fun and Ellie got another barbie. She has thoroughly enjoyed them and rotates which one sleeps on her pillow at night. I love that girl of mine and look forward to many more birthdays!! Love you Ellie!!!

Here she is already for her party and showing us how old she is now!!

Opening presents. I wish I had gotten some better pictures but I didn't even know she had starting opening them until she was about half way through.

Blowing out the candles. She was most excited to eat the frosting off her barbie.

A new dress from Mommy and Daddy. This is her model face. She always squints her eyes. It cracks me up but it makes it really hard to get a good picture.

This is all the cousins on my side of the family minus the 5 that live in Utah. Don't ask how we actually got pictures of them holding still at the same time. They were being so good. And this was after cake and Easter eggs.

Mother of the Year

For those of you that don't know, I only refer to myself as Mother of the Year when I do something horrible or my children say something really embarrassing. Unfortunately this time I did something horrible. The Tracy family is participating in the Hood to Coast this summer. I have been doing some training. Not as much as I should be doing but I am finally starting to get into a groove. My sister recently gave me their old treadmill. It's been very handy on these cold, rainy days. I have really enjoyed having it. I don't enjoy the running part, but I do enjoy the convenience. On Thursday I was running away and had almost made it to 3 miles when I heard a scream behind me. I turned around and saw my little Padey with his fingers stuck in the treadmill. I ripped the key out as fast as I could and jumped off the treadmill. Kirk was already there trying to pry Paden's fingers out. It felt like forever but finally his fingers were free. I was trying my best to stay calm and to not cry. I felt horrible because I was the one on the treadmill. It's never easy to see you child hurting. His fingers are pretty chewed up but he is doing well. Nurse Daddy got him all cleaned up and bandaged up. I have added some pictures to the post. They are close ups and if you have an easy stomach you might not want to look. The fingers are not that horrible but they definitely are not good.

This is Thursday evening. Not too bad. He was a very brave boy. I think Grandma's lap was helping.

This was Sunday morning. It looks a lot worse to me but that is just the healing.

This is Monday morning. Not a huge difference between Sunday and Monday but Paden wanted to take another picture so here it is.

Best Friends

Riley has a new best friend. He loves this friend. He will talk and talk and talk to this new friend. Every time he sees his friend he starts to giggle and then sets to chatting. He sees his friend all over the place. But his favorite place to visit with his friend is in the comfort of his own bouncer.

Are you kidding me?

Ellie and Paden were playing hide and go seek earlier and Ellie got tired of playing. It was Paden turn to hide and so he told Ellie to count and find him. She the told him she had an idea. "Why don't you go hide and count to 10 and then look for yourself". He got very excited and jumped behind the couch. He counted to 10 and then started searching. About 5 minutes later Ellie asked if he had found himself yet. He said he hadn't and continued to search. At least he is easily entertained.

Yummy Cake

Paden. Need I say more?